Monday, January 30, 2006

of cars FLYING

This is the second day of Chinese New Year, and here I am, sitting in front of my laptop, staring at this....

I have been back from Perth, and spending my pathetic wasteful life in my hometown Kuching for almost 2 months now, and the one thing I looked forward to was definitely the Chinese New Year celebration. Being with family and friends for this auspicious celebration is simply... priceless !!

However, I do miss Perth. Somehow, I felt part of me was left in Perth, and I shall never be able to completely retrieve it back to Kuching. And so while i surf the net, I googled Yahoo-ed Perth, and came out with this....

Goodness gracious !! I was only away for two months, and the car already learned to FLY in Perth !!! Super-AMAZING !!!

Click here for more details.

I do not know if the screenshot taken from the ever-popular Google-Earth is reliable. I mean, photo editing nowadays has been made so easy that I can make myself having boobs like Jennifer-Love-Hewwitt, or even bigger. Ok, that sounds quite wrong, but anyway, there is undeniably a chance that the photo taken was a hoax, or an optical illusion.

But but but but...

What if its real?? Would it not be super-COOOOL to have a flying car?? Oh gosh, and read on more, it says that the sighting was near Swan River !! I walk along the river back when I was in Perth like EVERY-SINGLE-DAY !! The place is possibly few minutes walk away from the University of Western Australia only!! Now I am wildly imagining, what if, one day, instead of the stupid-brainless-loudmouthed sea gulls flocking around, A CAR weighing more than 1000KG hovering over my head ?? Hmmm... strange.. but I like the idea !!!

Man, as much as I enjoy celebrating my Chinese New Year in Kuching now, part of me wants to be back in Perth. maybe just to check out the car, and opening up my own x-files Well, I should not complain this much. From many people I know of studying overseas, I should consider myself lucky being able to be home for such significant occasion. **SLAPPPP myself** Ok, back to reality.

Now I shall continue on my CNY visiting... and get MORE MORE MORE Ang Pow !!

Once again, Happy Chinese New Year everyone !! I couldnt say this enough, ahhahahaa...

Saturday, January 28, 2006

of Prosperity and Charm

It is that time of the year again, and all Chinese from every corner of the world shall come together...

It is Chinese New Year, and I am here blogging away.

Of course, MORE Ringgit Notes Ang Pows are most welcomed!! Money money money !!! Yay !!!

Urmm, since I will be leaving back to Perth soon after Chinese New Year, Malaysian Ringgit will be troublesome to bring along. Would it not be more convenient if just give my Ang Pow money in Australian Dollar notes? Save me a lot of trouble mah...

Ok ok, I admit that was too far and selfish, hahahhaa. The truth is, the amount of Ang Pow cash an ordinary guy like me would receive inevitably decreases with time, which means the older you get the less Ang Pow money you receive. (Please refer to the chart below for illustration)Well, at my age, I should not complain, and be thankful to receive any Ang Pow, if there is any for me at all. Man, its so not fair that young kids get so much Ang Pows. What would they need all those money for? Its so not fair that they get more and yet they need not what they receive.

To all loyal readers, have a great time this Chinese New Year !!

Hug and French Kiss as much as you could

Shake as many hands as you can. Squeeze harder on each shake.

Eat all the CNY goodies you want. Bak Kua, Ong Lai Ko, endless fizzy drinks... eat until you puke..

Extort as much Ang Pows as possible. Its the only time for free cash, and you will get less year after year. Go for it.

Burn as many fireworks as possible. It is only fun, because it is illegal !! Try bombing your neighbours cats and dogs. Or passing cars. Or an old aunty walking by the unfortunate lane. The expression on her wrinkly face and her croaking voice cursing back at you are simply priceless !!

Gamble as deep as your pocket goes. The more you bet, the more you win. Even if you lose, there are ways to repay the debts. Be creative, use your natural assets. You have nothing to lose.

And drink as much as your belly holds. Alcohol is the essence to a good celebration. Drink it up buddies !!!

Wishing you all a very prosperous and happy Chinese New Year!! May your coming year be flooded with cash and abundant health.

Friday, January 27, 2006

Made of pure ROCK

There is something so beautiful that made my eyes POP during my previous trip to Sibu. My relatives took me and family to a place called, the "Rock Garden". Please correct me if there is any better translation from Mandarin version of this garden.

On the first look on the garden, two other similar places come to mind. Kuching's Reservoir Park and Perth's Kings Park. After much touring around the garden by myself, it is safe to say that Reservoir Park is nothing compared to the Sibu's Rock Garden. The setting of the garden itself is on a mild hill, expanding out through a large land area. Journey along the hill to the top brings out the scenery of Sibu not seen from any other places. Extraordinarily breathtaking.

From the main entrance to the left, there is a considerably large pond infested filled with living fishes. Since I am hopeless in identifying the fishes (Yiaw Wei, you should teach me some of your fish-related skills) I will refer them as shiny-golden-overly-active-fishes.

Tortoises are also spotted. This one looks kind of lonely. Was it being left behind?

The visitors to the garden are allowed to purchase fish food readily sold at the garden to feed the fishes. It was amazing how those fishes pooled together fighting and chasing after the thrown-in fish food. Gosh, it was like underwater war to me, such chaotic scene. Now, if only I could throw someone I hate into the fish pond, I wonder what will happen. Lets be creative shall we?

The whole garden looks artificially green. Alright, artificial is not the word, but it promotes the relaxing and rereshing feeling, that I have not felt before from other similar places I have visited. There is nothing special about the air quality, but the scenery, especially the impossibly green textures everywhere surrounding the whole area is just amazing.

There are many places to explore in the garden actually. I simply adore this hanging and sagging mid-air bridge (picture below) that looks like it is gonna fall down anytime soon. It looks life-threatening to me, you can hear the creeking sound as you walk by it, and when wind blows, the whole structure sways. Now I should not talk about structural adequacy on the bridge, should I?

I did not manage to finish my tour on the whole garden. Believe me, it is that HUGE, but I have not had the time. I was with family and relatives, and they all stayed under the dining shed area near the entrance, and what better place there is to sit down, unwind, have a sip of whatever liquid they serve there, and enjoy the beauty of green and appealing artificial environment all at the same time. The experience was truly unforgettable.

I still do not know why the park was called "Rock Garden", while I did not come across any huge or noticable looking rocks around. My first assumption would be that the whole area was originally a rock mining pit, producing granites for construction purposes. Afterall, Sibu is known for rock-mining. After the mine has ceased production, the setting has been rehabilitated into a overly-Greenish looking garden. And so the recreational center was created and perfected into the "Rock Garden". Am I right on this assumption? Whoever knows anything on the garden history and related details please kindly leave a comment. Ta...

I must say I enjoyed my visit to the Rock Garden tremendously. Kuching Reservoir Park sucks big time If given opportunity and time, I would definitely visit the Rock Garden one more time, and finish my tour around the garden.

Gosh, I miss that place already.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Chinese New Year spirit

As a good good decent boy, I accompanied my mum for Chinese New Year shopping from morning through to the afternoon. We went to several familiar spots in Kuching, like Padungan shops, Tun Jugah shopping mall, Sarawak Plaza, Upwell and Everise Padungan. Being around in these places brings out the spirit of Chinese New Year in me, with all those overly-loud cymbal clashing drum bashing and lady with ugly voice screaming God knows what CNY tunes played over and over on the cheap sound systems around the shopping places, man... I'd rather chop off my dick ears.

There are several usual markings that symbolizes Chinese New Year Celebration.

1) Mandarin Orange placed with Tennis balls.

Yes, since mandarin orange is considered similar to gold in color, it is refered to as prosperous and lucky. Since tennis balls are of approximately the same size and also round in shape, tennis balls are also similar to mandarin orange. So there you go. There is no Chinese New Year with no mandarin orange nor tennis ball.

2) Lighted Lanterns hanging everywhere...

3) Everything must be in Red

Blood-red is the color theme for Chinese New Year celebration. No black, no blue, no purple, no pink. Red. If you do not have red cloths, never mind, soak your whole body with red-blood (any blood will do), and your coming year will be super-duper-prosperous.

4) Prioritise Chinese New Year decorations over other insignificant promotions.

When it comes down to Chinese people, nothing else matters. Chinese New Year is a celebration of triumph over evil, a marking of a new beginning and it is an opportunity to move forward a better future, leaving behind the dark and unholy past. Therefore, promoting other things is not important at this time of the year.

See anything unusual in the poster??

See, its not important. No one even saw it. Coz Chinese New Year is around the corner !!! Who the hell cares ??? Screw Benq Cameras.

5) Lions... even if its just the small head

6) Ang Pows (Red packets)

Ang pow. Children love it. I love it. Who would not?? It is a passed-down tradition, year after year, centuries after centuries, that during Chinese New Year, the elders would give the younger generations Ang Pows (Red Packets containing MR MONEY !!!)

You see, even the Everise Supermarket is giving away FREE ang pows !!!! Wanna bet how much money inside?




F**k lar, I could bet Kenny's coconuts and dickonosaurus off that its empty !!!

Happy last minute shopping for those of you who have not yet done CNY shopping. May you enjoy the horrific traffic jams everywhere in Kuching and the long long queues at the caishers at any shopping places. I have a feeling this year the Chinese New Year Celebration will be a GOOOOOD one.

Yeah !!

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Signs and Tags

Perth is truly a remarkable place to be. One stare closer around the spot where ever you are, most likely you will notice the unusual traits and marks along your journey. Take your time, look around, you will see things that you may not expect to see. Some, are uniquely interesting to say the least.

You shall dance on the unstable edges. Make some groovy moves. Yeah baby.

When ever there is children around, the water will automatically turn hazardous. Otherwise, the water shall remain safe always.

Please do not commit suicide and poluting this beautiful beach by throwing yourself into the rocks. We do not want a haunted beach. No.

Bad Karma does not make stealing illegal, does it? By the way, I do not believe in Karma, so stealing is ok for me? No ??

Yes, we have plentiful of FREE cooking gas in Perth. It is for public use, and it is unlimited. How cool is that?? Screw old-fashioned BBQ with charcoal.

What what what !!!! There are free PRAWNS in the river ????

Perth is famous with inspiration producing. Visit the factory, and you can "BUY" inspirations. You see, I am always full of inspiration. YAY !!

Enter, and the rocks shall fall upon you.

Why would anyone name papaya as "paw paw" ?? Weird, but rather cute.

That was the scribbled white board of my room-door back in my Currie Hall days. Yay, I am branded generous by Aidan.

Now this is my personal favourite.

Try feeding the bird. They most likely will fly all the way up to you and shit on you !!!! How fascinating that is?? (S.O.Y = Shit On You)

Thats all for now, more signs and tags coming soon on

Tuesday, January 24, 2006


There is something terribly wrong with the name of the lady in the poster.

I do not know why, but the word "LAMPA" gives me an irky feeling inside. (Lampa is "testicles" in Hokkien)

I have come across quite a number of unusual names. However, I have not seen names with "testicles" in it. Perhaps in their language, the word "Lampa" means something good. Then again, seeing this poster in a Hokkien speaking society in Kuching is just making it something everyone can easily make fun of.

Geez... scratching my Lampa now.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Nasi Goreng ??

I never really liked the shopping malls in Kuching. Most of the items sold are ridiculously overpriced, and lack of variety. However, there is something that keeps me going back to the Tun Jugah Shopping Mall. Oh well, by now, anyone would have guessed, this must have something to do with "food".

I love Tun Jugah for the NASI GORENG AYAM SPECIAL, served in the Food Gallery.

With a reasonable price of Rm4.50, the meal includes:

Fried rice in sambal

2 Chicken Satay Sticks and Sauce

Fried Chicken

Fried Egg

Few slices of cucumber

One bowl of soup

and additional chilli sauce

For someone who has a HUGE appetite like me, the Nasi Goreng Ayam Special at the Food Gallery is a sure hunger killer. I gladly leave with a undescribeable satisfactory feeling in my stomach everytime after the sumptious meal. Anyone would simply love the generous portion of the serving.

I myself love dining in the Food Gallery Tun Jugah. I like the layout of the entire dining area, the colour setting, arrangement of the tables and et cetera. Sitting by the window viewing down to the city of Kuching (well, only the Jalan Tunku Abdul Rahman, Holiday Inn Hotel and Sarawak Plaza nia lah) while checking out babes passing by having my favourite Nasi Goreng Ayam Special is truly awesome.

View from the seats near the windows of the food Gallery..

I must have another plate of Nasi Goreng Ayam Special before I fly back to Perth. Must. Ok, maybe more than one plate. Man, am I hungry or what?

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Follow Me

Follow Me is a brand that covers a wide range of products: Perfume, Shampoo, Toothbrush, Talcum, et cetera...

I personally use Follow Me Toothbrush, mainly because its cheap, and I find it reliable. I am no dentist, so I shall not go in details on the toothbrush. Screw Colgate and Darlie

The brand Follow Me has been around Malaysia for quite some time, and has been the preference for several generations. Nowadays, many new Brands manufacturing similar product lines mushroomed and have taken control over the market, and sadly, being an old brand, Follow Me is simply out of the competition. Therefore, appropriate and effective marketing measures must be adopted to prevent further profit loss and maintain the quality and image of the brand.

After Millions of Ringit Malaysia spent on R&D (Research and Development), Follow Me has come out with a rather unique solution for their problem:


Making its debut in the quiet town of Sibu, with the main entrance situated somewhere in the dark backalley of the old shops. This Karaoke Pub is a never-thought-of-before idea that may very well save the Follow Me's ass from total bankrupcy. Think about it, what better way is there to promote a line of personal grooming products, if not in a Karaoke Pub.

Brochures on the latest products can be distributed right at the entrance.

Prostitutes/strippers Bartenders and dancers having the Brand Follow Me on their lingerie/undies dress or shirts.

Free trial of Follow Me product samples provided in the washroom. For example, soaps for washing hands, perfume samples to kill off the horrible odor similar to any washrooms in the public and Follow Me special lubricants for (fill in the blanks)

Giving away RM1000 worth of Follow Me Hamper for the winner of the Karaoke Singing competition.

Giving away shopping vouchers for members who brings in and introduce more members to the Karaoke Pub.

You see, the possibilities are endless. Good job on such original yet stunningly efficient promotional technique.