Thursday, December 11, 2008

Faith Enough

I have always been known to be someone unique in the sense that I choose to believe in people, and those people that I consider as friends, I have considerably immense amount of faith in them.

Faith is believing in something that you do not fully know, or understand. In this case, I choose to trust in the good side of people.

Lately, that faith in people have been terribly shaken. I do not think that I would somehow see people the same way as I naively chose to perceive previously. Sometimes, I just want to believe that someone to be a real good person and that no matter how many wrongs or imperfections that the person exhibits, it does not really matter because I believe that at the end of the day it was the intention that truly counts. Suppose one day you find out that the intentions were nothing near good, and all the traumas and dramas that spiraled out of control led back to you and you know that you have been wrongly exploited in every sense of your weaknesses, you started to realize that, hmmmm, hey maybe that huge chunk of faith has been gravely misplaced somehow, somewhere.

There are times (well, a lot of times in fact) I act according to faith. I am the kind of person who would defend something, or someone, should I see anything against my faith happening in front of my eyes, and if I am within reach of making some impact in the situation, I definitely would throw in a punch or two. If I believe that a friend of mine is a good person, and should someone try to talk him down at his back, I would jump in and defend the friend, though everyone around me would not see the point of me doing so. I believe it is what you do at people's back that truly counts, whether they realize it or not. If I truly consider a friend a true friend, I would never say anything harmful about that friend at his back, or discuss his weaknesses openly with his other friends. And this would be out of the question, but I would also never use his weakness to prey against him in any sense. Instead, I would say all the beautiful and amazing things to his friends or other people while talking behind the friend. Of course this is not some common trait that you will find in people these days, but it is just something that I have proudly chosen to practice. Do take note that, all the above only apply if I consider the friend, a true friend. Should the person be any less of a friend, I, like all vultures in the world would spread poison everywhere (don't ask how vultures spread poison). I am not perfect, I admit.

I guess the downside of placing so much faith in people is subconsciously expecting some sort of return in the end. All I would ever demand was respect, and certain extent of honesty and openness from those that I am close with. More than often, people do not see me as the friend that I see them, and perhaps I only have myself to blame in this regard. Above all, all I ever wanted in return was to have a friend, who would just be there for me and be supportive, putting aside my negative traits, and just accept me as who I am. I have tried my best to do all those things I have mentioned but the tricky part is to acknowledge the fact that people wont be able to see what I see, and want the same things. Maybe these days those things are just too hard to ask for. This is when my faith is in question.

So I turn to you guys, my faithful readers with these questions:

1) Is it wrong to believe strongly in someone, especially if that someone means a hell of a world to you, and saved your life a dozen times over? Seeing the good in this someone, and when other people went against the person, for example telling harmful lies in front of you, would it be wrong to stand up, and raise your concerns regarding your disagreement, based on your faith on that person?

2) Is it wrong to die defending what you believe in? For example, I believe that killing (taking another person's life) is wrong. Even if it means that my life is threatened, I would never give in and would stand firm on my ground, defending my belief that killing will always be wrong.

3) Is it wrong to feel cut when you find out that all your faith you have poured on one friend has been toyed around when that friend has unexplainably chosen the sides of your enemies and openly discuss your weaknesses with them?

I have only this one thing to say, I am who I am, and I will never change this trait of mine. I will keep my faith, whether you like it or not, because it is this faith that defines me, and distinguishes me from you, or anyone else. If I were to give up this belief, then all that I am would have been lost. If you cannot see this much about me, and cannot understand or appreciate it, then maybe you should start to re-evaluate on how much you know about me. I believe friends should be more open to each other, and more importantly, show more faith in each other.

Tell me, what kind of a friendship it is, without faith?


  1. Heyy Robin, hope things have worked out. I hope that whatever happened will not lessen your faith in people, because you're one of the few genuine people I know out there, and your faith in me has helped me out many times.

    I don't think it's wrong to have that much faith, or to be hurt when that faith is betrayed. I guess you just have to be more vigilant, but not lose that faith.

    Take care, yah?

  2. hey atlasya,
    thanks !!! I appreciate that.. really.
    I guess at times like this I would start to question myself on things I believe in, but hey, I will be alright. No worries, it would take so much more than that to change who I am.
    Cheers !!!

  3. Answers to your questions :

    1) Nope. Just smile and show the international sign of language to the person who spread lies/rumours :)

    2) Nope. But then, I believe in understanding in all angles before jumping into conclusion. But yeah, killing is just wrong.

    3) Do like answer no. 1 :)

    As for me, I believe in giving without expecting a return. It is up to the receiving end to give back if that's if he/she got his/her conscience intact. By this way, I don't feel much agony. But hey, you can't force someone to be open (as open as wide angle lens) to you if they don't want to. That's when some tiny agony/pain comes in but to me, it is negligible. :D

    All I know is, I'm always ready to listen whatever sorts there is regardless he/she is a friend or foe.

  4. hey chong,
    thanks. Yeah I suppose that is the irking part about me, I do expect a tiny bit in return, otherwise I would feel that all is unfair. About giving and receiving, I would say that it is a different story. I would give and not expect anything in return. But placing faith in something/someone, and having that faith being neglected is an entirely different thing. The consequence would be.. obviously losing faith.
    Ahahaha international sign.
    Listening is important like you have pointed out, but some people just choose to do things the difficult way by going at your back and screw things around, rather than talking to you directly.

    btw I WANT a wide angle lens LOL

  5. Ah.. I left out the faith part (though it is plastered all over your post). I believe to show/place faith on someone is easy but to get him acknowledge it is rather a difficult task.

    Perhaps, you could just give him/her a b*tch slap just to wake him/her up :D

  6. This post is really deep and even after reading it again and again, I am still lost. -.-ll

  7. hey chong,
    ahaaha nah, i do not need people to actually show that they appreciate the faith I have placed in them, but I don't expect to be hurt in return lar, not especially by those few.

    hey jason,
    ermm, are u sure u are alright? LOL... maybe something happened in that tunnel you went into in Taiwan.

  8. ur post is as cheeeem as the sky picture... haha. wah a lot of things had happened since i was gone for a week nia meh? nvm, tmrw just take as much photos of me as you want muahaha.

  9. hey chun chow,
    ahahah im leaving out in a while to find fred. Going jalan soon muahahahahaah

  10. Meoww... dunno how to answer ler..
    I don't really think much... XD

    but I do learned a lot from your post and all the comments here..

  11. hey jian,
    ahahaha dun worry man, this kind of things dun really happen a lot also, only "lucky" people like me will kena one ahahahah

  12. This also lucky. God-like shots also lucky. Wtf betul?!!

  13. hey chong,
    godlike shots.. LOL... really lucky lor, if they were not, i would be making money from taking pictures by now ahahhaha

  14. if you mean kena backstabbed by someone you trusted.. yes.. I ever kena before...

  15. hey jian,
    its not exactly backstab ahahaha... but something along the lines there.
    people are evil i guess