Everything fucking goes wrong this year, well at least for me.
My almost four months old Olympus E410 with the newly obtained Pancake Lens have just been stolen from me, along with my 4 years old Nokia 3200 handphone.
I was riding on a KTM train back from Mid Valley, squeezing into the crowd as I went into the train, and when I realised my bag has been emptied while everyone was squeezing and shoving left right front back, it was already too late, the door closed, and the train moved forward. I made a stop at the next station, and took the other train on the opposite direction back to Mid Valley. It was pointless, the people who snatched my camera and phone must have made a thousand steps ahead of me. I tried asking the security counter if anyone found any huge camera, as expected, nothing.
I was truly devastated.
I figured it must have been the work of at least three people. All shoving me inside the train, one grabbing my phone which was stored in my front jeans pocket, and one snatching my camera by unzipping the bag. I tried to blame myself for being careless, but the more I think about it, the more I realized the blame was not exactly valid. There was not much I could do, when I could barely move any of my legs and arms. I did not even know what happened until the door closed behind me.
How am I feeling now seriously?
I do not know how to describe my feeling now. But I know I am devastated.
I have never been so passionate in anything, or anyone before. I have put so much of my life into Ollie, and I seriously think it has become a huge part of my life, though I have only purchased it few months back. Oh it hurts, in more ways that you could ever possibly imagine, that I have to deal with the fact that the hard earned money that I have saved over working half dead, being thrown into that camera, was just gone like that. Angry, I am slightly, but I am so helplessly crushed to bits now.
I am not going to say anything about those to stole my Olympus from me, because in a way, I am really impressed by their work. I am not saying I am ok with what they did to me, but it was not easy pulling off such stunt. I was well aware of everything around me that moment, and I checked my belongings all the time. It must have happened in less than 5 seconds, and it just pains me that this had to happen to me, now. After all that hard work and effort I have put into learning photography, and pushing myself to improve. I just felt that everything happened at the wrong, wrong timing.
I am well aware of the fact that this is not the end of the world, and this seems very puny in comparison with other bigger worries in life. Still, I think when you are so crazy about something, and you spend so much time, and put so much love into it, when it was taken away from you, you will feel that the world is blardy unfair.
Well, the world has never been fair anyway. Stop complaining, Robin.
Any encouraging words are most welcomed now. And I mean NOW. Seriously, I need you all, my beloved readers more than ever at this unanticipatedly tormenting time.
Hence, this is the beginning of my days without a DSLR. Or a camera.
I feel so naked, and incomplete, without Ollie.