Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Dreams


It was a very slow weekend indeed, but somehow I just wish it was longer, I guess it was just my extreme hatred for Monday. Since the city was getting boring, I travelled all the way (20-30 minutes bus ride) to Fremantle instead, and explored a few places that I have always wanted to visit but never had the chance to whenever I was there.

I took a brief stroll inside the E-Shed Markets (something like pasar malam) and exited at the rear, which has quite an awesome river view.

A WALK @ FREMANTLE

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Like usual I was looking to the sky, but in this case, the waters. Either way, the water reflects the sky. It was quite a cloudless afternoon, hence the deep blue waters. I could not recall the last time I was here at Fremantle, must have been months back, but I was truly glad I came last Sunday. Time seemed to slow down a little, and as I stand still at the river side, train of thoughts flashed through my mind, and I was in a deep trance state of dreams, but in broad daylight of course.

When I was young, I have always wanted to travel far beyond the seas. I have always wanted to explore, and try out different ways of life. Go to places, see different things, meet different people. That was a dream of a sweet and innocent child, and that dream still holds true till today.

BLUE WATERS

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Part of the dream came true, when I flew over to Perth to pursue my higher education. I was given an opportunity to experience a completely different culture and lifestyle from the one I was brought up with. I have seen things. Why only part of it came true you ask? I guess, when we were younger and sweeter and more innocent back then, we could only see the beautiful things, the bright side of the picture, and fantasize on the happy ending portion of the story. As a boy, I have never anticipated so much pain, agony and bitterness that came along with the package.

Robin’s Law of Life 2: In the sweetness of every dream, there lies a sharp hint of bitterness.


Reality is never as pretty as any dream, even if it does come true. Sometimes I do wonder, the path that I have chosen, the dream that I was chasing, and the tough decisions that I have made throughout the years. Were they really worth it? Just to selfishly pursue my desires, I have set aside a lot of values, the values that define who I am, and I have made some regrettable trades and sacrifices. Many of those things, will never come back.


A SHIP... A CLASSIC LOOKING SHIP

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There were times of darkness that I fell so deep that I thought I would not be able to get up again.

As enthusiastic as I was about achieving my dreams, I also had times of disbelief, hopelessness, and helplessness. Those were the times that my faith was truly put to test, and the pain may have subsided, but the echoes of my cries will forever ring in my head every time I go to sleep.

My dream was nearly shattered, TWICE, though I have come this far to just surrender and give all of them up. Believe me, I have fought, and I fought hard. I used to believe in not giving up on the fight, in whatever we do. Nevertheless, I was this close to being defeated, and having all my dearest hopes being broken.

But, in some odd and unexplained ways *X-Files Theme*, I survived.

My dreams were saved.

I can say that, I am living my dreams now. However, contradicting myself, I can honestly tell you that the dreams were not exactly what I have always wanted, and the illusion that I have assertively created out of those dreams will never resemble any of the perfections that I have always hoped for. I never thought dreams would come with so much traumas, and events that could drown you so deep, and makes everything else in life seems so, liquid.


OUT TO THE OPEN

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One thing remains true.

When I was a little boy, I looked to the sky, hoping I could fly away.

Many years later, now, I still look to the sky, faithfully.

The dream, remains a dream.

4 comments:

  1. all i can say is wow! your photos are breath taking! u should consider pursuing this full time LOL! i love the pictures of the water with the sun shining down. i can almost feel myself being there with the hot summer sun blasting on my face. Fremantle is soooo beauttiful.

    my friend, it is clear to me that u are carrying a lot of emotional baggage. we must chat about it one day when we see each other online. until then...

    -Marcus

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  2. hey marcus,
    ahahahaha thanks !!! I love that bright sun lit water picture too, ahaha but it was not so hot the other day, regular fremantle breeze, perfect for a sunny afternoon.
    Dun worry mate, im doing ok. Just sometimes i do take my time off and look back at where I came from. Those are just my sincere thoughts, if I do not write them down it might just slip by. I sure want to read back on those train of thoughts 10, or maybe 30 years from now !!!

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  3. Hello, Robin! Haven't dropped by for a long time...I think u were still in Kuching then, and now u're Down Under and u've graduated! Belated congrats 2 u...and I must say ur photos are SO VERY3 nice!!! Well, what is life if we cease to dream??? Dream on, Robin...and may they all come true!!! Cheers!

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  4. hey suituapui,
    whoah u racked my archives, ahahahha yeah it is finally over, and im glad i graduated too.
    Thanks for the compliments, i appreciate it. I still have a lot to improve on the photos.
    Yeap... i still have dreams, and im chasing them. Thanks !!

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