Update: Whoahh.. unexpectedly this entry has garnered some unexpectedly positive and rewarding response, especially from OINK who named me a hometown hero !!! Thanks for the compliments dude, my balls may never be as huge as coconuts, but they remain ordinarily human. Credits to Charmaine too, who inspired this blog entry !!
Another Update: Goodness... the chain goes on !! Another blogger, Chris got inspired by this idea, and did an audio blog version of his own !! Check this out... I think it is rather coool.
This entry is particularly composed in response to the “Why some nice guys finish last” blog entry by Charmaine recently. If you have not read that entry, do hop over and have a read first before you continue any further on what I have to say in the following paragraphs. Don’t be lazy; it is just a click away!!
For those of you lazy-bums who still refuse to make that click happen, well, here is my little summary on Charmaine’s entry. I can’t guarantee the accuracy of *my version* though. She mentioned why nice guys lose out to bad guys when it comes to chasing girls, even when they know that, bad guys, are indeed, well, literally bad. She categorized nice guys into four distinctive separate groups, with each group generally represents largely of what and how nice guys behave. With clear examples, she illustrated why most girls would end up with bad guys, which I cannot say I agree with everything, but I dare admit she has got some bold points worth looking deeper into.
I shall not pin-point my disagreements and make rebuttals on whichever part I do not see fit, since I have grown much older, and have left the old-school full of hot flames and blade-chopping debate styles much behind. Instead, allow me to outline some general facts and traits of nice guys, of course in a much more positive manner (since I am a guy myself, DUH) and in hope that these reflects what real nice guys
like me would generally have in common.
1) Nice guys are not desperate
Nice guys are not in the urgent need to be in a relationship, and they are certainly not rushing into the subject of matter. They would take their time to look around, meet more girls, socialize, and learn their ways and get to know the minds of the so-very complicated female species. They are not that worried about other guys in competition, or at the sight of any bad guys present who would snatch the opportunities away from them, but rather slowly injecting their ways with the girls, and without making any huge first impressions. Most nice guys do not expect to end up in bed with the hot-sizzling-sexy-babes on their first encounter. They simply observe, and wait for the pieces of puzzles to fall in place, for a bigger and brighter picture of the situation, before they jump into the waters.
On the other hand, bad guys always have exceptionally stupendous first move, probably the way they walk up to the girl, stare in the eyes, flirt their way around the girl while buying expensive drinks like money means nothing to them, and can be spent on the girl thoughtlessly. Girls are drawn to such spontaneity, and raw aggression that normal guys lack and they feel like they are being treated special. Well, who does not like attention anyway? If the bad guys play their cards right, they might just get what they want in an instant, leaving nice guys watching from the side sighing.
Sighing not of regrets, but of how things will turn out ugly in the end, because the bad guys do not even know the girls, and this works vise versa!!
2) Nice guys want to know their girls better FIRST
Nice guys would usually start off with the girls as normal friends, spending time with them, and getting to know them better. This is a crucial part, because nice guys don’t want to involuntarily end up with vampires or head chewing lionesses just by the mistake of not knowing the girl enough. Much can be learned from each side when time is spent in friendship activities, such as going out for lunch, or a game of bowling, even in a group of common friends. In time, they hope to get closer to the girls, and if the conditions are right, the move will be made, sure of the fact that the guy already played a significant part in the girl’s life, and if she feels that the guy is indeed very special, she might strongly consider to pursue a more intimate relationship than just friends.
Unfortunately, getting to know someone takes forever, especially with some girls that have walls around her thick enough to shield a bomb blast from a terrorist attack. Bad guys never cared what kind of girl you are. They just step in, no questions asked, and sweep the girls off the floor with their charm and wit. They move on the go, and deal with consequences later. If things do not work out well, or if the girls of their choices fail to satisfy their needs, they can always opt to discard what they think of as “faulty products”, and look for better products. Why do they want to know you? You are just a girl, and all guys need girls after all. They don’t care who your friends are, they don’t care what your parents would think of them, they don’t care what shoes you wear, they don’t care what you do in your past time, all they want is for you to be there when they need you, and perform your duty as a girlfriend. Without much hesitation, bad guys can afford to act quicker, much quicker than nice guys.
3) Nice guys look further ahead
Nice guys think of the future. They want a meaningful and peaceful relationship. As much little control as they have over the possible relationship, they do what they can in their end to ensure things will go well, and they always mean well. Nice guys desire long term relationships, and they want to make sure that they are ready, and most importantly, the girls also, before making any unwise moves.
Bad guys, however, just live for the day. They have the girl of the week, or the month, and if the girl is ok, they might let her cling a little longer on him, and otherwise, off to the dumpster and once again, bad guys on the hunt for new inventories. What is the point of getting into a rash relationship, not knowing much on both ends, which would eventually finish off with a big-bang-butt-ugly nuclear war scale break up? Nice guys look beyond this, they never want to hurt the girls, and if they know well that the relationship have tough issues out of his hands, possible of more torment than happiness, he would not initiate it, just for the better good of all. Nice guys genuinely care about the girls, and if they want to be in a relationship with the girls, they will make darn sure that the relationship is a good and meaningful one.
4) Nice guys think girls who go for bad guys are hopeless
Well, just because the bad guy drives an Ah Beng-ish radically modified sports car, buys you expensive lunches, hang out with the cool gang and speaks of such sure-confident manner, girls would fall for that? Seriously, what else do you see in bad guys? Security? Oh please, how well do you know the guy to begin with?
Now, give me one reason why would nice guys fight for girls who blatantly chose the above mentioned bad guy over nice guys?
They just let the girls go, because, those girls are simply shallow, and deliberately not able to make the right decisions. Now, do not come running back crying to the nice guys once the ugly side of the story unfolds. Hmmmmphh !!
5) Nice guys want the girls to be happy
The sentence speaks for itself. Amen.
And just for the fun of it, here is a picture of a nice guy cam-whoring:
And another picture, of a Bad Guy cam-whoring:
It does not matter if nice guys lose out to bad guys, it was never an issue, though it happens every now and then, and sometimes when this happens more frequently in one’s life, one would start to feel that girls are truly blind. At any rate, nice guys will always win in the end.
In X-men 2: United, the scene where Jean Grey pulled herself away from kissing Wolverine, she said something very bold and striking, I do not remember the exact words, but it goes something like this:
“Girls flirt around with dangerous guys, but in the end, they always come home to the good guys”
Of course, the last movie, X-men 3 was a total screw up. Jean Grey should have been with Scott Summers, and Wolverine is a complete failure when it comes to romantic chapters.
Side Note: I have been away from this blog longer than expected. This entry is also lengthier than I originally wanted. Those are after all, just what I think, and no flame whatsoever was intended. Feel free to say something !!