Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Nice Guys Vs Bad Guys

Update: Whoahh.. unexpectedly this entry has garnered some unexpectedly positive and rewarding response, especially from OINK who named me a hometown hero !!! Thanks for the compliments dude, my balls may never be as huge as coconuts, but they remain ordinarily human. Credits to Charmaine too, who inspired this blog entry !!

Another Update: Goodness... the chain goes on !! Another blogger, Chris got inspired by this idea, and did an audio blog version of his own !! Check this out... I think it is rather coool.

This entry is particularly composed in response to the “Why some nice guys finish last” blog entry by Charmaine recently. If you have not read that entry, do hop over and have a read first before you continue any further on what I have to say in the following paragraphs. Don’t be lazy; it is just a click away!!

For those of you lazy-bums who still refuse to make that click happen, well, here is my little summary on Charmaine’s entry. I can’t guarantee the accuracy of *my version* though. She mentioned why nice guys lose out to bad guys when it comes to chasing girls, even when they know that, bad guys, are indeed, well, literally bad. She categorized nice guys into four distinctive separate groups, with each group generally represents largely of what and how nice guys behave. With clear examples, she illustrated why most girls would end up with bad guys, which I cannot say I agree with everything, but I dare admit she has got some bold points worth looking deeper into.

I shall not pin-point my disagreements and make rebuttals on whichever part I do not see fit, since I have grown much older, and have left the old-school full of hot flames and blade-chopping debate styles much behind. Instead, allow me to outline some general facts and traits of nice guys, of course in a much more positive manner (since I am a guy myself, DUH) and in hope that these reflects what real nice guys like me would generally have in common.

1) Nice guys are not desperate

Nice guys are not in the urgent need to be in a relationship, and they are certainly not rushing into the subject of matter. They would take their time to look around, meet more girls, socialize, and learn their ways and get to know the minds of the so-very complicated female species. They are not that worried about other guys in competition, or at the sight of any bad guys present who would snatch the opportunities away from them, but rather slowly injecting their ways with the girls, and without making any huge first impressions. Most nice guys do not expect to end up in bed with the hot-sizzling-sexy-babes on their first encounter. They simply observe, and wait for the pieces of puzzles to fall in place, for a bigger and brighter picture of the situation, before they jump into the waters.

On the other hand, bad guys always have exceptionally stupendous first move, probably the way they walk up to the girl, stare in the eyes, flirt their way around the girl while buying expensive drinks like money means nothing to them, and can be spent on the girl thoughtlessly. Girls are drawn to such spontaneity, and raw aggression that normal guys lack and they feel like they are being treated special. Well, who does not like attention anyway? If the bad guys play their cards right, they might just get what they want in an instant, leaving nice guys watching from the side sighing.

Sighing not of regrets, but of how things will turn out ugly in the end, because the bad guys do not even know the girls, and this works vise versa!!

2) Nice guys want to know their girls better FIRST

Nice guys would usually start off with the girls as normal friends, spending time with them, and getting to know them better. This is a crucial part, because nice guys don’t want to involuntarily end up with vampires or head chewing lionesses just by the mistake of not knowing the girl enough. Much can be learned from each side when time is spent in friendship activities, such as going out for lunch, or a game of bowling, even in a group of common friends. In time, they hope to get closer to the girls, and if the conditions are right, the move will be made, sure of the fact that the guy already played a significant part in the girl’s life, and if she feels that the guy is indeed very special, she might strongly consider to pursue a more intimate relationship than just friends.

Unfortunately, getting to know someone takes forever, especially with some girls that have walls around her thick enough to shield a bomb blast from a terrorist attack. Bad guys never cared what kind of girl you are. They just step in, no questions asked, and sweep the girls off the floor with their charm and wit. They move on the go, and deal with consequences later. If things do not work out well, or if the girls of their choices fail to satisfy their needs, they can always opt to discard what they think of as “faulty products”, and look for better products. Why do they want to know you? You are just a girl, and all guys need girls after all. They don’t care who your friends are, they don’t care what your parents would think of them, they don’t care what shoes you wear, they don’t care what you do in your past time, all they want is for you to be there when they need you, and perform your duty as a girlfriend. Without much hesitation, bad guys can afford to act quicker, much quicker than nice guys.

3) Nice guys look further ahead

Nice guys think of the future. They want a meaningful and peaceful relationship. As much little control as they have over the possible relationship, they do what they can in their end to ensure things will go well, and they always mean well. Nice guys desire long term relationships, and they want to make sure that they are ready, and most importantly, the girls also, before making any unwise moves.

Bad guys, however, just live for the day. They have the girl of the week, or the month, and if the girl is ok, they might let her cling a little longer on him, and otherwise, off to the dumpster and once again, bad guys on the hunt for new inventories. What is the point of getting into a rash relationship, not knowing much on both ends, which would eventually finish off with a big-bang-butt-ugly nuclear war scale break up? Nice guys look beyond this, they never want to hurt the girls, and if they know well that the relationship have tough issues out of his hands, possible of more torment than happiness, he would not initiate it, just for the better good of all. Nice guys genuinely care about the girls, and if they want to be in a relationship with the girls, they will make darn sure that the relationship is a good and meaningful one.

4) Nice guys think girls who go for bad guys are hopeless

Well, just because the bad guy drives an Ah Beng-ish radically modified sports car, buys you expensive lunches, hang out with the cool gang and speaks of such sure-confident manner, girls would fall for that? Seriously, what else do you see in bad guys? Security? Oh please, how well do you know the guy to begin with?

Now, give me one reason why would nice guys fight for girls who blatantly chose the above mentioned bad guy over nice guys?

They just let the girls go, because, those girls are simply shallow, and deliberately not able to make the right decisions. Now, do not come running back crying to the nice guys once the ugly side of the story unfolds. Hmmmmphh !!

5) Nice guys want the girls to be happy

The sentence speaks for itself. Amen.

And just for the fun of it, here is a picture of a nice guy cam-whoring:

And another picture, of a Bad Guy cam-whoring:

It does not matter if nice guys lose out to bad guys, it was never an issue, though it happens every now and then, and sometimes when this happens more frequently in one’s life, one would start to feel that girls are truly blind. At any rate, nice guys will always win in the end.

In X-men 2: United, the scene where Jean Grey pulled herself away from kissing Wolverine, she said something very bold and striking, I do not remember the exact words, but it goes something like this:

“Girls flirt around with dangerous guys, but in the end, they always come home to the good guys

Of course, the last movie, X-men 3 was a total screw up. Jean Grey should have been with Scott Summers, and Wolverine is a complete failure when it comes to romantic chapters.

Side Note: I have been away from this blog longer than expected. This entry is also lengthier than I originally wanted. Those are after all, just what I think, and no flame whatsoever was intended. Feel free to say something !!


  1. Hi, nice guy! Hope u'll find a nice girl...but study first lah!! When the time comes, they'll all be lining up outside your door!!!

  2. hey chriskalani,
    ahhahaa... but he is my favourite character :(

    hey suituapui,
    ahahha thanks.... but not planning to do anything serious soon

  3. CAMWHORE!!!



    anyways, i think a good relationship is built on 3 fundamental elements: trust, acceptance and compatibility.

    trust: because you need some intangible thing to hold on to when in doubt.

    acceptance: when the other partner accepts you as who you really are and does not try to mould you into something your partner wants.

    compatibility: when you complement each other, personality wise. sometimes opposites attract, sometimes not. there is no correct formula for a perfect relationship.

    you just gotta take the jump.


  4. hey aaron..

    YES CAMWHORE.. ahahhahahaa
    yeah, i agree on u on the trust, acceptance, and compatibility, and they all would take time to build on each other !! the more reason for nice guys to be slower than usual, because they do care about those things !!!

  5. Well, my take on this mystery is that what girls really want is Confidence. yah, the C-Word. That's why bad guys get the babes.

    Honestly, deep down, i think girls want to be controlled and told what to do. Blame the bra-burning feminists for making us guys think otherwise!

  6. gotta start with the fact that I feel proud about my fellow countrymen ie you and charmaine! haha!
    gotta say that was just an awesome reply as to why good guys beat bad guys.

    Enough said. I feel constipated after 2 posts.

  7. hey oink,
    thanks a lot !!! Wow, now my hidung starts to kembang liaw, ahahahahaa....
    It was an honest opinion on my end, yeah, hope the things i wrote made sense though.

  8. hey chrizsim,
    yeah, girls are always looking out for confident guys, nice guys can be confident too, it just takes time. And a lot of things in relationship can only be built in time. Same applies to confidence. Well, you gotta be sure, the girl is not a vampire to start with

  9. LOL I am so glad I wasn't lazy and clicked :)

    This is so true. I read your post and found myself alternately shaking my head and nodding and recognizing people I know in your meticulous description.

    Here's something for you to think about. Why do girls like bad boys? Cos they're masochists. Cos we're all masochists :)

  10. Great post, Robin! :D It's actually pretty cun, and like you say, Nice Guys always win. I know I would want one to win me. :)

  11. This comment has been removed by the author.

  12. hey bunnywunny,
    aahh u actually clicked !! LOL.. I wonder how many people actually do that, thanks !!
    My description on nice guys was a widely general one though, ahahahaa many people would easily fall to that category.
    Hmm.. masochism, where did I hear that? Oh wait... Sadism and masochism (S&M) aaahh
    yeaahhh... submitting oneself with hurt and pain for greater pleasure. Kinky, in a way.

    hey cynical-idealist,
    Thanks !! You did pretty well yourself, took me some time to form my thoughts though, ahahahha... all is good, we even gained readers that are proud of us !! (oink)

  13. oh yea robin!! you go girl!! i mean.. guy.. LOL... what u said was soooo true la.. ignore those ignorant idiot girls..they'll never learn..muahahahaha. from what i've heard from my ex schoolmates, those bad boys didn't end up in a very good way. They've got kids now.. if ya know what i mean.. i pity those girls..sigh.

  14. lol.... dun need to publicize me till like that ma.. i stay loyal to my kch blogging dudes one, whether i've met them o not. haha!

    in case charmaine does come back - wanna ask whether she agrees (as a girl) that smart intellectually-inclined girls are a turn off to guys, in this case good guys. HAHA!

  15. hey chun chow,
    !!!! Girl????
    yeah, the bad guys never really cared much bout the whole situation, and never though for ahead. Wad to do? in the end the girls suffer...

    hey oink,
    ahahaha nolah... u desserve it, its not an everyday thing I get praised.. ehehehehehehe...
    and kuching bloggers must stand together !! Do look me up if you come back to kuching.

  16. Hehehe... I've seen too much where many of my girl friends prefer bad boys rather than good boys and at the end hurt themselves badly. They thougth they can change the bad boys to good boys. HELL NO! So naive! YUCK! I never like bad boys. Bad boys freak me out, no security at all.

  17. hey irene,
    I guess girls at younger age prefer to poke around with the dangerous type, live the risks, and have fun staying alive, feeling on the edge every now and then. They dare themselves to experiment the bad guys, and well, if things turn ugly, there is always an option: break up.
    depends on what type of bad guys lar... some, will have permanant consequences lor, which can be ugly !

  18. Oh robin, you poor thing! Didn't you know?

    Nice guys are nice... so that they can get laid =/!

  19. hey jonathan,
    Oh dear jonathan, don't you know? When nice guys do get laid, its the best and sweetest thing that has ever happened in the world

  20. So have you gotten laid :D?

    Better watch the blood sugar =/... no sex for you or you'll get diabetes

  21. hey jonathan,
    that would be telling would it be not?
    Hmmm.. lets open it for creative imagination...

    tee heeeee

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