Since my family does now have our own transport, I have been accustomed to travel around this small town of Kuching mostly on foot, and sometimes by bus. Usually getting around places would require the combination on those two, unless there are good souls out there who are willing to give me a ride and save all my sweats and trouble. However, depending on the travel distance and weather, I seldom complain about walking, and I have walked many more miles in comparison with most people that I have known of.
I guess there are things that only walking could do to you that other mode of transport could not. I get to think. I think really deep and far when I walk. Take for example my recent walking route, from one end of Kuching waterfront (near the Central Post Office) to the other end (near Kuching CBD) which took less than 30 minutes slow walking. I guess it is nice walking along the river, no matter how ugly looking the waters are, or how many alien objects floating over the glorious Sarawak River.. I still enjoy the walk. No matter how many kids loafing and doing their routine lepaking around the entire river side, I still enjoy the walk. And I had deep thoughts. Thoughts about where I am in my life, where I was back then, and how I see myself in the near future. I felt very connected to my feelings as I walk and walk.
Never mind the sweats and puffs, or aching feet on my worn out shoes, I still walked on. As I constantly looked at the reflections of the waters, I thought of who I have become, what I have achieved, and what I have failed to accomplish. I saw faces, many faces that passed by my life so quickly. I thought of the people that come and go, and what they mean in my life, and the precious moments, no matter how briefly they were spent. I thought of unsettled feelings over things that were left unsolved. I looked back on past arguments with people, the words that we threw at each other, the hurtful ones, the truthful ones, and also, many, many unsaid ones. I remembered the tears that I have seen, and very much also, the tears of my own.
I walked on, faster. I worried, because I knew the sky grew darker, partly due to the near-sunset time of the day, and also, the brewing storm promised by the black clouds. Gloomy sky, reflected prominently by the waters. Is it not a wonder, how the sky can affect the entire mood and atmosphere? Once the colour of the sky changed, almost everything else changed as well, like the colour in the waters and almost everything that the light touched. This, certainly encouraged even more thoughts. I thought of the things I did, and how they affected everyone around me, and shaping the happenings and events. Some sweet ones, some bitter. Some I try to forget and leave it all behind. Those I could not leave behind, I can only sigh at them.
I walk alone. I always do, and I prefer it so. Those thoughts would not hit me if I were chatting and giggling happily with others around me, and not that the walk would be less enjoyable, but I like the feeling of connectedness with myself, and being able to see things as clear as the reflections of the sky on the water. I smile to myself, sometimes even chuckle. Memories can be both painful and beautiful, but they are my prized possession. I shall hold on to them dearly.
And so I walked on.