However, something else made an appearance in my house. Something larger, blacker, and seemed lethal. A Spider !!! A HUGE one mind you !!! I hate spiders !!!
As I look back on how cruelly I
mercilessly tortured treated the previous two insects, I decided to let the spider go. actually I have spider-phobia Well, who knows, If the spider would come to me while I was sleeping, and bite me somewhere in my body (hopefully not "that" part), and I would wake up the next day... with superhuman strength and spiderlike abilities and become... become....
Suffering from traumatic experience due to the deaths of the cockroach and grasshopper, I decided that it is time I do something. I have been wanting to start this a while back, but something held me back , and I never quite find the time and willingness to do it. Something somehow happened, and it struck in me that if i want to do it, the time would not be any better than now.
Ok, people out there, please do not laugh. I went to church this Sunday Morning. Ta da...
Alright, cut the crap of the grasshopper and cockroach dying. There is just a part of me that wanted to experience worship again, the part that craves for the fellowship in Christ and the communion of saints. It is not that I have not been to the church here in Perth before, but all those people from those weird weird churches were like becoming super-friendly and fakingly nice to you when you are new and would do whatever it takes to just get you to their church. I just do not see the point of sudden kindness just to add numbers to that church, and believe me, the extend of their "friendliness" got me pretty scared. I have nothing against those people and such, it is just that, I felt out of place. It is like, all that they tried to get over to your mind was "come to our church, come to our church, come to our church !!! If you do not come, you will go to HELL" Ok, my imagination is rather extreme, like usual. Oddly, I chose not to flow with the direction they pushed me to.
My reasons of joining the church worship are rather simple. I felt myself drifting away from my faith and religion, and I just need to do something about it. The best way is to "appear" on Sunday worships and resume bible reading. I am not an overly obssessed Christian that sees everything as God and Holy Spirit, nor am I those who completely forget the essence of the religion and trespass all sorts of laws written in the scriptures. I am not perfect, and no one is. I sin, like everyone else. I may have done few horrible things that I need to atone for. I seek redemption and forgiveness. I need to be cleansed spiritually.
Thanks to my dear friend Jason, I joined OCF Perth, and from there I got to join the worship in Subiaco Church, here in Perth. It was very refreshing and pleasing to be able to be part of the body of Christ again, coming together in prayers and worship, and actually be in the holy communion reflecting the wrongs and sins that we have commited. There was a sense of revival in me, that somehow, the inspiration in me that is dying is now renewed. I like this aura with me. I need this positive attiude around me to go through the difficult times that I know will come to me really soon. I just have to be spiritually prepared.
not to mention the hot chicks I need to make new connections. It is not like I have many friends that are actually close to me and all, and I can actually tell my old connections here in Perth are dying slowly, but miserably. I am just the kind of person who cannot live alone. I believe in certain areas of life we rely heavily on others, especially good friends to help us through, and those who choose to deny this fact is either simply selfish, or have no sense of care and love for others. babes are everywhere in church From church, I meet new friends, get to make good connections. and best of all, being around brothers and sisters in Christ, is simply something I long for. I want to be part of something. I am still searching for that "something".
Well, lets just not over-analyse, so just wait, and patiently see where this would lead. I have sparked the flame, now all I can hope and pray is that the fire wont die on me that easily. I must stay strong. Life goes on.