Sunday, March 26, 2006

For the love of toilet...

Side note: Here comes the toilet meme, tagged by Arth. This is my first time being tagged, man.. I am getting pulled by the gravity of blogging !!!

There are many descriptions for the toilet. Some say "washroom". Some say loo. Some say "the zone". Some call it the "gents", or the "ladies room". Engineers call it w/c. Sisuahlai would call it "Jamban". I call it, simply just... toilet. What do you expect?

I have never given much thought about toilet and the stuff related to it. What I understand is that it carries the function to collect human waste and dispose of it in a hygienic manner. What else is there to think about? Hmm?

What are your favorite activities while conducting business in the toilet?

Since I was small, I would like to spend time in the toilet, usually more than 10 minutes in there conducting my business. While I sit on the toilet bowl letting my S**t slowly flow out of my anus, I would let my imagination run wild. I have imagines all sorts of things, harmless and carefree fantasies, being a small kid back then, I would picture myself as a superhero or something, and start running the story and actions in my mind. Power Rangers was one of them, you call it silly, but that was part of me growing up back then. When I grew older, I start to think of more realistic things, like if I have 1 billion dollars, what would I do that sort of thing. The toilet time is the only time I have to imagine freely besides my dreams in my sleep.

Your favorite toilet?

Well, back in Kuching, I used to love my home toilet, because mummy is always keeping it clean. lazy lazy Robin The public toilets would require you to pay 20cents for access, with no toilet paper included. Not to mention the public toilets there are of horrible sight. S**t sprayed all over the toilet bowl, seats, floors, walls, sometimes, even the ceiling !!!! Do not ask me how, but it happened, and anything is possible in a toilet. Not to mention the vandalism case is extremely critical everywhere, out of 5 toilets, maybe only one or two would be flushable. Some of the conditions are so unbearable that I personally think flies can even faint at the sight of it. Therefore, home toilet was my favourite in Kuching.
But, when I came to Perth, WHOAHH !!! Culture SHOCK !! All the public toilets are SUPERBLY clean !!! Got fragrance some more !! Got supply of toilet rolls, and really really look like hotel-standard !!! Being a lazy guy as usual, my house toilet here is not kept clean constantly... so I would prefer to use the toilets outside my house. Strange eh?

Most interesting toilet bowls you’ve used

I have not come across any unusual toilets yet. So far pretty much all the toilets I use are the conventional ones. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Any no toilet experience?

I guess I seldom get this type of experience though, maybe because wherever I go there are toilets everywhere, and I do not drink too much water. Could not remember the last time it happened, maybe it was during my primary school where some ridiculously insane bitchy monsters teachers would ban the poor innocent students like me from going to toilet during class period, and whoever asks for a go to the loo would get few strokes of ROTAN !!! Yeeeaaaaouuuuuucccchhh !!! Come to think of it, the teachers I have back in my younger school days were really mean and evil. I mean it.

Do you prefer the old school (squat) or the modern (sit) toilet?

Honestly I would prefer squat. I do not know why, but the s**t seems to come out much more fluently and faster. Thats just me I guess. But nowadays, especially in Perth, you do not find squat toilets anymore. Basically everywhere you get sit-on toilet bowls. However, I just hate it when I have to rest my huge heavy ass on the FREAKING FREEZING ICY COLD toilet seat in winter nights and mornings !!!! I tell you, the feeling on the butt skin when it touches the seat is near BURNING sensation of boiling water !!! I just hate it when its cold. I bet Kenny Sia's coconut balls would shrink to the size of raisins when he used the toilet seats during his times back in Perth.

Wash or wipe?

I personally think wiping is a better option than washing. Using water may cause unwanted incidents like accidentally spraying on other parts of your body other than your anus. You do not want others to think that you have more than ordinary business happening in the toilet, do you? Wet patches at the wrong places can cause wrong assumptions by the wrong people anytime.

There, I am done on my first meme ever. I shall minimise my photos for this entry. Anything related to Toilet is not something that would strongly promote. So what is your say on toilets?


  1. u forgot to mention how ur shit smells!

  2. hey wuching,
    now that you mentioned it, my shit actually smells like.... like.. like.. well... shit !!!

  3. Thanks for being a sport ,dude. I'll tag you with some more decent memes next time. HEheheh.... Watch out!

  4. hey arth,
    no worries !! Bring it on !!

  5. Shoot man...Perth's darn nice. Can't wait to go there soon. :p

  6. It's another thing going to toilets with little ones (toddlers).

    Imaging squeezing into a cubicle with a 1 metre tall little person, then slowly closing the door. Proceeding to help little one (LO) take her pants off, you noticed that there's some "stuff" on the seat. With one hand supporting LO, the other frantically wiping the seat clean (thank goodness we are not in ASIA), LO proceeds to scream "wee-wee-toilet, mom!" as she busts to go!! DRAMA ONE

    After all that, I figure I might as well go....asking LO to stand still and keep watch. Guess what she does? She starts playing with the lock and s..l..o..w..l..y opens the cubicle door!!! DRAMA TWO

    While I am on toilet seat, at the top of her lungs, LO comments "What's that mommy?" and "Mommy? Wipe bum-bum??" offering to help. I am wishing the toilet sucks me in. DRAMA THREE

    Finally out of the cubicle, we are faced with the task of washing hands. LO is not tall enough, so I have to heave her towards the sink. The tap squirts everywhere on her and ME. We smell like the soap as half of it IS on us and walks out of the "ladies" not near looking like ladies! END OF DRAMA

    New look towards the Toilet Experience?

  7. wow !!!
    Never knew it would be that dramatic !!!
    Thanks for sharing... certainly a new insight for me...
    not wanting to have my own kids that soon... LOL
    just kidding...

  8. *LOL* Love the way you did your meme. It was hilarious! Yes I agree with you about the part about freezing your normally-hot-thighs on toilet seats during winter. I come from Kuching too, went to visit my uncle in NZ during winter. You can imagine lah. :)

  9. hey luxferi,
    thanks !!! Really glad u enjoyed the meme. I know.... crazy lar.. hate winters just because of that... wanna shit also susah !!