Thursday, March 02, 2006

Death comes to all of us

There have been quite a few "uninvited visitors" coming to my house for the past few days. I just hate it when they come unannounced, and they know that their presence is not wanted, yet they still stick on and spend the night in the same house I am in. I hate those kind of visitors. I can just do whatever it takes to rid them off !!! And I mean it !! Whatever it takes !!



You see, when most people see a cockroach, they will either scream on top of their lungs as if the cockcroach has a pair of ears, or jump up so high that their heads hit the ceiling. It is a norm for people to hate crawling critters. Lizards and spiders come in the equation too. My housemate would react to the cockcroach as if he has seen a ghost, squeeling and running away like the cockcroach is chasing him from behind with a chainsaw or something. Yeah, he is a guy, mind you.

When I see the cockcroach, a hundred and one things came into my mind. The following are a few of them:




Since the cockroach is always associated with dirt and smell, why not we "freshen" it up a little?? Give it a little "perfume" to start things with. And cockroaches breathe through their entire abdomen, spraying the air freshner on it will "cleanse" the whole body, inside out.






Well, maybe we should forget such gentle method like spraying air freshener. Try Poison instead. Aerosol spray with "cockraoch repelling" ingredients in it. We always need the "chemistry" to get things going anyway.

Of course the above two methods wont be able to do much damage on the cockroach on the spot. Cockroach has been proven to be the most resillient living creature on earth towards survival and living. It was said that if ever there is a nuclear explosion, everything within the blast radius would be wiped out, and the only living organism to have chances high enough to survive the blast is cockroach.

Therefore, to STUN/IMPALE effectively slow down the movement of the cockroach, we must SQUASH them. Anything flat and hard would do. Like one side of my sandal.




To ATTACK/DEPLETE THE Hit Point KILL the cockroach, CHOP them to pieces... anything long and sharp can do.




And the finishing move: BURN off the chopped pieces.



Ok, DOTA has obviously affected my judgement in a way or two, but I am feeling so evil now, MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAA....



Anyway, my enginering sense tells me to do the entire opposite. Instead, I found this round container lying on my deak conveniently, and instantly it struck my mind.




Therefore, I sentenced the cockroach into a LIFETIME-IMPRISONMENT. Of course with no food, no water provided. And maybe limited supply of oxygen. Cruelty is such a sweet thing. The visitor shall suffer a HELL before the last breath.




You see, death comes to all of us. Like Smith in the Matrix used to proclaim, "it is inevitable". For the cockroach, death comes in such a slow, painful and torturing manner. I am killing a cockroach. Should I show any remorse?



15 comments:

  1. wakakakka... First time see people talk real cock...

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  2. hey wong,
    yeah, talking cock has never felt any better !!!!

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  3. it is indeed dying.. slowly... painfully.. miserably... muahahhahahaaa

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  4. i had my story with the centipede which i posted back then...
    Scary.....

    goosebumps***

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  5. oh ya..
    saw that one before... scary indeed !! Man I hate those things.. name it, bees, spiders, scorpions, centipedes.. urrrghhh...

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  6. Siu Keong is the same everywhere. Even you kill one, tonnes of them will come to take place and revenge.

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  7. hey fabby,
    then i shall sentence them all to life-imprisonment !!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. haha..same blog entry but urs much more 'dramatic' hehe

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  9. hey chun chow,
    yeah.. but "wong" said it was talking REAL cock !!!!
    Incredible !!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hey this is vy funny n cute!!!d way you wrote tis entry...
    hahaha..this is d way il use too...hehhe...wish you all d best for not seeing them again...hahhaha...

    ReplyDelete
  11. hey hie ming,
    first comment on my blog !! Thank you.. whahahahaaaaa....

    ReplyDelete
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