Monday, February 20, 2006

In Case of Fire, Shout FIRE

In Australia, the procedures and local regulations for operational systems everywhere tend to be a stretch too lengthy and ridiculously unnecessary sometimes. The pointless custom checks that snatch away harmless belongings at the arrival in the international airports and the overly-strict measures over anti-terrorism are just to name a few. As crazy as the case can be, things just could not get any more interesting than this.




Fire emergency procedures. Wow.. SIX steps, I wonder if there really IS a fire, what would I REALLY do.... lets go through one by one shall we? Lets imagine sweet little young boy like Robin caught up in the middle of the fire.


EXTINGUISH THE FIRE




Alright, everyone must have had a special fantasy of being a hero, most popularly Superman, who would jump in disasters like fire emergency and save the day. But the truth is, I am no Superman. Superman has fire-proof dick, but mine is vulnerable and may turn into charcoal. What I should be telling myself in times of crisis like this is "move your HEAVY ASS away from the fire as FAR and as FAST as possible". The danger lies in the fire itself, to fight it with a fire extinguisher, I risk myself going nearer to it. I am only 21, though I may very well miss my opportunity to be a hero, I am just not ready to get my dick fried.


HELP PEOPLE



If my friends are trapped in the building caught in large flames, I shall "consider" running into the fire to get them off the building. If my family is in that building, I will "most definitely" go right into the building, and save them with whatever and however ways I possibly can.
But.. if a superbly HOT chick is stuck somewhere in there, and calling out desperately for my help, even if the whole building in falling down, I would not have any second thoughts and dive right into the flames for her.
Wahahahahhaaa.. ok ok, that was wrong and I was just kidding. Do not misjudge me. Of course I risk my life for my girl (if I have one) first, then my family and friends. No no to strangers except insanely HOT babes with HUGE boobies


CLOSE DOORS AND WINDOWS



This is just plain silly. I am imagining myself in a shopping mall now, and suddenly the whole place is catching up with fire, and everyone starts to panic. Would it not be a wise decision to let the doors and windows and whatever passage there is leading outside the building WIDELY OPEN so that everyone can get out? Alright, closed doors have fire resistance properties and may slow down the spreading rate of the flames, but hey, what if someone is left behind, and would not a closed door slow down the exit process?


PHONE 2222




Who cares, more caring and responsible citizens would have done that, and there is no need for everyone to call in the fire department all at once.


GATHER OUTSIDE



First thing: Move my heavy ass OUT of the building. Second thing: Move my heavy ass as FAR AWAY as I can from the building.



You know those movies where they have the entire building hijacked by the bad guys, usually the buildings end up with MASSIVE explosion !!! And everything in the building and AROUND it would be blown to shreds. Gosh, there is no way I would stay on. Well, maybe just a quick few picture snaps of the actions there for the purpose of blogging and go off to a safer distance away from the blast radius.


And finally this is my favourite one:


SHOUT FIRE



In case of fire SHOUT FIRE !!! If someone does say it out loud, "FIRE !!!" I would gladly respond loudly "Earth, Wind, Water, Heart !!!" When your powers combine, I am Captain.....
Ok... that was utterly lame, but get the idea? If there is a serious need to alert everyone on the building in case of fire and other relevant emergencies, there are MORE EFFICIENT and smarter alternatives than just shouting.



If I see fire, if no one has already done so, I will break the glass. The emergency alarm will be activated, and I believe this is a much better way to alert everyone on the rising emergency.


Well, all those above are just my thoughts and "possible" response if I really come face to face with real fire emergency. Things may turn out differently in reality of course.

So in case of fire, will you shout fire?

20 comments:

  1. i'll shout save me! save me! i don't wanna die!

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  2. hahaha yea... that'll the the 1st thing on ppl's mind. must be hard to get robin's HEAVY ass away in a short time so the fire will probably fry his dick!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. hey wuching,
    true !!! we might just scream for our lives to be saved !!

    hey ivan,
    wahhahaa.. a dick is a man's most priceless possession... u would not want urs to get fried too i bet.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I will run run run and then shout fire fire fire..

    And then probably realised that I have left everything behind.,. and too late to turn back.

    What is the purpose of this sign anyway? to be carried with you when fire starts?

    ReplyDelete
  5. hey another robin....
    yeah.. a sign with lame purposes... how odd is that?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hey Robin, if you and your UWA pals are still interested,

    "The Prime Minister of Malaysia will be visiting Perth on the 21st February 2006 (Tuesday). A special Gathering of Malaysian Student with the Prime Minister of Malaysia will be held as follows:



    Venue: Hyatt Regency Hotel (North Ballroom), Adelaide Terrace, Perth

    Time: 4:00 pm sharp, 21st February 2006 (Tuesday)

    Dress Code: Smart

    Cost: Free of Charges



    The Prime Minister will present a talk followed by high tea refreshments. The Deputy Chief Minister of Sarawak, Honourable Datuk Patinggi Tan Sri Dr George Chan and Rodger Chan of ABC (Australian Business Centre) will also be present at this function.



    In case that you did not receive the invitation, on behalf of the Malaysian Government, we would like to sincerely invite you to attend this special occasion.



    RSVP to attend this function by emailing Mr. Rodger Chan at rodgerc@netinc.net.my or sms him on 0424 808388 with the following details: Full Name student, Institution attending, Phone number & Email contact."

    For all Msian students studying in Perth only. That includes you, right?

    ReplyDelete
  7. hey cynical idealist !!
    Thank you sooo much for the info !! I will be there !!

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  8. wah..prime minister of malaysia go all the way to perth.. that's today man! take photo man...haha

    ReplyDelete
  9. yalor.. planning to go.. but u know the weather... its 39 F**king degrees outside !!! think will hit 40 in a while...
    i will reach the place sweating like a pig...

    ReplyDelete
  10. hey cynical idealist
    looking forward to meeting you there !!

    ReplyDelete
  11. okay, robbie.....let's say the building i'm in is on fire and if i am going to stand there and re-read all 6 instructions on that board, my dick would be fried as well....I dont think i have the time to even think!
    If they want me to draw a sign. Im just gonna put there: "In case of fire, Save yourself. Go figure."

    ReplyDelete
  12. hey arth,
    good one !! Save yourself !!!
    Wahahhaa...

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  13. these pointless signs are there for underwriting and legal reasons, because most contracts states that you have to place these dumb signs or you can claim insurance.

    ReplyDelete
  14. hey yuin,
    yeah, whatever reasons there may be for putting up the signs, they looked silly as they ever were. nothing changed.

    ReplyDelete
  15. haha.. i've seen a lot of china 'Engrish' signboard so far, and never ever see this, well i think some of the ppl in CHina is sick with the English, but this one, their logic sick. =.=|||

    ReplyDelete
  16. hey shopper,
    yeah, the engrish signboards are around, but here, the perfect-english signboards are just simply overdone with too much creativity sometimes.

    ReplyDelete
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