Wednesday, January 11, 2006


Before I went to Perth, after I graduated from my high school in Kuching, I spent two solid years studying my diploma in engineering at INTI College Sarawak. Throughout my two meandering years of experience there, I have met several truly wonderful friends and sparked reminiscence worth cherishing forever. Anyone would have felt that the place would mean something after spending such huge portion of their lives there, and actually walking away with priceless treasures.
Since my dear friend from Tasmania has returned home and asked me out today, we headed to INTI to relive some old memories, visiting those remaining lecturers who used to torture us to near death teach and guide us in those days. We met up with Chun Chow there, and began to do what we came to do. No, no one cried. It was not that tragic.

The appearance from the outside looks rather the same to me, but somehow felt grander; maybe because those MLVK students are no longer there to eat up every space I have not seen it for quite a while.

I remembered INTI as a college with absurd rules stringed to make fool out of every students there. I was as rebellious as a normal teen would be, and I have broken virtually all the stupid rules there were. Well… only the unusual ones. Rules like ridiculous dress code that prohibits students to wear sandals or slippers to college. Rules that force the students to wear dog tags name tags all the time on campus. There are also rules that forbid students to walk on grass.


Seriously, to me, lawn is not just for beauty. Lawn is for walking. I love stepping on soft fresh green grasses, and would prefer them over solid concrete pathways anytime. But why on earth would anyone be forbidden to enjoy it? I would totally understand if there are flowers grown on the lawn… but from the picture above it is obvious there is none.

I gotta admit, the “not walking on grass” rule is ludicrous. So what did I do?

Yes, I run on the grass. Problem solved.

When we were along the way to the Engineering Faculty, my eyes were wandering around trying to catch any sight of my face postered up on the wall or notice board. Being fortunate as I am always, I noticed several of my own images there and here. Now those photos bring back memories, fond memories.

When I look further, I found more articles related to me.

Yeah, that was one year ago, when I represented INTI and was awarded the Best Engineering Student by IEM (Institution of Engineers, Malaysia) for the year 2004. I was quite surprised the article is still up on the wall. I somehow felt a little moved and there was a sense of accomplishment, though I know I totally did not deserve that award at all. And proudly, I was the first from the college to receive such award. kembang hidung Gosh, looking back all those years now, I could wish that I had the chance to go back, and restart all over again. Those times were precious, and sadly, gone.

That was the happy part, until I saw the following article.

CELAKA !!! Someone actually succeeded me in obtaining that award !! Someone stole my spotlight !! Look at the article again, it is in full COLOR, where as mine is in black/white. Also, it is fully laminated, mine is not and it is placed at a much dominant setting over mine !!

All I could think of at the time was F**K, and that was all I could utter, and I did it LOUD.

NOT FAIR!! Now, I felt so much like yesterday’s news and leftover. Geramm..

All three of us (Khee Hwa, Chun Chow, and me) went to meet up with familiar faces like Mr Chai Ted Kin, Miss Htay Htay, Miss Rosaline and Mr Chandra. We had a wonderful time catching up with each other, and telling stories while exchanging smiles and laughter. It was all good. Many things changed I noticed. Many people I used to look up to are no longer there, like Mr Yong Chin Soon, Mr Babu, Mr Suresh and Mr Tnay. (hope I get the spellings right.. gulp..) There are so many new faces, somewhat the place that was so casual once now felt a little alienated.

I am in pink. Like usual.

The lady (third from the left) in the picture was my colleague back in my internship days. She was a design engineer back then, but now, working in INTI as the head of Civil Engineering, and teaching some respectable units also. I remembered her as a sweet, warm and helpful character. It is a strange world now that she landed on INTI.

I can write on and on about the lecturers, and some unforgettable experience which I collected in those old days, but I guess that would probably be too lengthy and unnecessary. All I can say is, INTI was a tremendous experience to me. I learned a great deal about life there. I have stumbled upon great friends. I lived a great life back then. It is just sad that, all that had to come to an end.


  1. You are sadly mistaken. Your idea of space and time is determined by your neurological structure. The camouflage is so craftily executed and created by the inner self that you must, by necessity, focus your attention on your present physical reality.

    Time as you experience it is an illusion caused by your own physical senses and so it seems to you that one moment exists and is gone forever.

    Understand, everything in the universe exists at ONE TIME simultaneously. The past is seldom what you remember it to be, for you have already rearranged it from the instant of any given event.
    The past is being constantly recreated by each individual as attitudes and associations change. This is an actual recreation, not a symbolic one. The child is indeed still within the man, but he is not the child that 'was', for even the child within the man constantly changes.

    Therefore every action in your present affects actions you call past. It is possible to react in the past to an event that has not occurred, and to be influenced by your own future.

    It is also possible for an individual to react in the past to an event in the future, which in your terms, may never occur.
    No event is predestined. Any given event can be changed not only before and during but after its occurrence.

    The individual is hardly at the mercy of past events, for he changes them constantly. He is hardly at the mercy of future events, for he changes these not only before but after their happening. An individuals future actions are not dependent upon a concrete finished past, for such a past never existed.

    The past is as real as the future, no more or less. There is a part of you that is NOT locked within physical reality, and that part of you knows that there is only an Eternal Now. The part of you that knows is the whole self, your inner and outer ego (all that you are).

  2. ????!!!!!!!!! wat the hell is mwt talking bout man??

  3. Interesting. Let me get a few facts straight:

    1) time is a form of human illusion
    2) the past is the same as the present and the future
    3) the future may be able to change the past

    Now, let me share what I believe:
    1) time is a straight line, it is irreversible
    2) whats past, is called history
    3) the past is the key to the future, we learn a great deal from history
    4) time changes. Human changes along with it
    5) time flies. whats today will soon be yesterday, and then yesteryears.
    6) time will be forgotten.

    Many people make mistakes in their past that they live every day with regrets. We often wish that we could, should and would have done otherwise, if we were given the perfectly similar chance again.

    Allow me to describe with a simple, straightforward example.

    Supposing someone close to a person, say A, died, and A has yet to speak what he felt needed to speak from his heart. Well, the dead person is, ALREADY dead. Note the past tense. Time goes on. It does not change the fact that, A will NEVER have the chance to tell the dead person how he felt. It was in the past, but A lives his every single day with regret.

    Now mwt, how does your theory ease the suffering of A? Time is the same as the present and the future? that future may change what he does in the past? What will happen in the future may give A the chance to undo his past??

    Oh please, do not be ridiculous.

    Yeah Chun Chow, what the heck is he talking about??

  4. Yes this is perhaps beyond your understanding. Hard to believe? Certainly. Counter to common sense? Of course.

    Go Goggle about “time is illusion” and check on the quantum physics. They are even stating that “time travel is possible” and building a “time machine”. But the bottom line is that all of this bizarre thing is at the very least permitted by the laws of physics, and in some cases is required by those laws.

    Even Albert Einstein stated “For those of us who believe in physics this separation between past, present and future is only an illusion, however, tenacious."

    Perhaps you are NOT aware of the unknown reality. Try to understand the unknown reality.
    “Man thought once, historically speaking, that there was but one world. Now he knows differently, but he still clings to the idea of one god, one self, and one body through which to express it.
    There is one God, but within that God are many. There is one self, but within that self are many. There is one body, in one time, but the self has other bodies in other times. And all 'times' exist at once, i.e. simultaneously.”

    The unknown reality may appear esoteric or complicated, yet they are not beyond the reach of any person who is determined to understand the nature of the unknown elements of the self, and its greater world.

    Your time -- past, present, and future -- would be experienced entirely as present to many of these personalities. However, your past, present, and future would be experienced entirely as past to still other personality structures.
    Imagine past, present, and future then as a single line delineation of experience in your terms; the line, however, continuing indefinitely. And other personality structures from other dimensions could then, theoretically, observe it from the infinity of viewpoints. However, there is much more than this. The single line [representing physical experience in this world] is really the surface thread along which you seem to travel. It is all the thread that you perceive, so when you envision other dimensions you are forced to think in terms of observers far above the thread, looking down upon it from any given viewpoint.

    In actuality, following the image through, and strictly as analogy, there were also be an infinite number of threads both above and below your own, a part of one inconceivably miraculous web work. Yet, each thread would not be one dimensional but many dimensions, and conceivably, if you knew how, there would be ways of leapfrogging from one thread to the other. You would not be forced to follow any particular thread in a single line fashion.

    Now, there are personalities advanced and developed enough to do this. Each act of leaping, so to speak, forms a new thread. Following through with our analogy, imagine you Self A. We will start you off in physical reality on Thread A, though you have already traversed many other threads to get to where you are.

    Without shortcuts or even average progression, any such Self A would travel Thread A along the narrow line toward infinity. At some point, however, Thread A would turn into Thread B. In the same manner, Thread B would turn into Thread C and so forth. At some inconceivable point, all of the threads would be traversed. Now on Thread A, Self A would not be aware, in his present, of the "future" selves on the other threads. Only by meeting one of these other selves can he become aware of the nature of the strange structure through which he is traveling.

    There is, however, a self, who has already traveled these routes, of whom the other selves are but part. The self, in dreams and disassociated conditions, communicates with the various "ascending" selves. As a self grows in value fulfillment, he can become aware of these travelers on the other threads, who would seem to him to be future selves.

    All this sounds complicated, but only because we must deal with words. I hope that intuitively you will be able to understand it. In the "meantime," the overall self is forming new threads of activity, you see. The framework it leaves "behind" can be used by others.

    Death, however, does not exist in those terms. In the dawn of physical existence, men knew that death was merely a change of form. A death is just a night to your soul.

    Existence is larger than life or death. Life and death are both states of existence. An identity exists whether it is in the state of life or in the state of death.
    In the entire fabric of your existence, this life is a brilliant, eternally unique and precious portion, but only a portion, from which you emerge with joy and understanding whether you die tomorrow or in years to come. The choice of life and death is always yours.

    Life and death are but two faces of your eternal, ever changing existence, however. Feel and appreciate the joy of your own being. Many live into their nineties without ever appreciating to that extent the beauty of their being.

    You had lived before, and will again, and your new life, in your terms, springs out of the old, and is growing in the old and contained within it as the seed is already contained within the flower.

  5. obviously mwt has some issues with his perception on life and people. seriously, he needs help

  6. You have focused so strongly upon physical reality that it becomes the only reality that you know.
    And you could admit only to those things you could see, smell, touch, or hear; and in so doing, you could only appreciate a third of yourself.

    Your concepts of personhood are now limiting you personally and en masse, and yet your religions, metaphysics, histories, and even your sciences are hinged upon your ideas of who and what you are.

    Your psychologies do not explain your own reality to you. They cannot contain your experience. Your religions do not explain your greater reality, and your sciences leave you just as ignorant about the nature of the universe in which you dwell.

    You are part of institutions and disciplines that are composed of individuals, each restrained by limiting ideas about your OWN private reality; and so it is with private reality that you will begin and always return, period.

  7. mwt,
    let me tell you what i know. you are living in a computer generated world called the matrix designed to imprison your mind and blind you from the truth, that you are bring used and controlled by the machines.

    All your senses, touch, smell, even your perception on your very own existence are simply simulated by electronic signals sent through your brain, making them real.

    You see, the matrix is everywhere. You cant fight it, you cant run away from it, you cant deny it.

    You are NOT in control of your own life.

    Do not try and bend the spoon, that is not possible. Instead, try to realise the truth: there is no spoon, then you will see it is not the spoon that bends, but yourself.

    mwt, the matrix has you.

    So what are you going to do?

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  9. Thank you! |